Every marriage has its highs and lows. Your marriage is probably going through its lows if you're reading this. You might be dealing with a stressful situation, like a job change, a baby, or caring for an elderly parent, trapped in money struggles, or the collapse of your sexual life. A marital relationship can be affected in a variety of ways.
The first sign that a marriage is falling apart is when partners begin placing their desires above the marriage's needs. If you're like that, it's nearly impossible to get through a difficult situation. It could feel like you're always talking over each other instead of being on the same page.
Is now the right time to think about divorce? You might think so, but all is not lost, not yet. Even if it seems like you both have drifted apart, there are ways to fix your relationship and come closer to your partner once again. Experts say all you need is a willingness to work hard. There are several ways to tell if your marriage will last and steps you can take to make things better.
Here's How to Tell If Your Marriage Is Salvageable
Marriage is a huge part of your life. Thinking about ending it is one of the most difficult decisions, especially if the partners are deeply in love. But most experts say you should try to save the relationship before ending it unless there's recurrent infidelity or abuse. It's common for people to give up too soon when things are hard.
Start by looking back on your shared history. What's your relationship like aside from this situation? There are always bad days. But if you truly love your spouse, it is worth trying to get through a rough patch. Considering how your divorce might affect those not involved in your marriage, like your kids, extended family, or even close friends, can be helpful. Having a strong marriage strengthens your family and community.
Lastly, ask yourself if you were duped into thinking the grass is greener on the other side. It is common for people to think that finding a new partner will make them happier. Still, if you do not address the issues, you may eventually end up with them following you around. You'll probably have problems in your new relationship if you have problems in your current one.
Here's How to Keep Your Marriage Together
Choosing to save your relationship is the easy part. You must work together to solve your differences and get back together.
There are a few practical steps to save your marriage.
Make The First Move
Taking action because you feel things are awful is the only way to improve things! The "why should I be the first one" game is easy to fall victim to due to the ego that makes it ways into the hearts. If you wish to save your marriage, don’t wait for your spouse to make the first move.
Take A Look at Yourself
Sometimes it's tempting to blame your partner for everything. There's no such thing as a tango without two. Don't just focus on what your partner is doing wrong, but also on how you might be contributing to that error in judgment. If you have some ideas, it's easier to ask your partner to make improvements.
Be a Listener
There's no doubt that your thoughts and perspectives are important. You won't understand your spouse's perspective if you're too focused on yourself. Pay attention when they talk instead of planning your next move. Until you understand what they're talking about and what they're trying to say, you can't answer.
Don't Be Too Harsh
Your partner may withdraw if you use slurs or are rude or condescending in your speech. Don't let anger get in the way of your communication. You show your spouse you value your marriage by saying what you'd like to hear.
Is Your Environment Affecting How You Feel?
People today are under so much external pressure that something happening at work or in their social lives can affect their marriage. You might want to take a step back and consider whether you consistently come home from work with a bad attitude and, if that's happening, how it might hurt your relationship. If you come home intending to let it all out, your rage may end up directed at someone who doesn't deserve it.
Family ties are just as important. Family reunions aren't always a pleasure because they burden marriages that may already be struggling. Couples can get cranky when a relative drinks too much, has extreme political beliefs or tries to convert everyone to their religion.
The sooner you recognize these gatherings as a possible source of conflict in your marriage, the better you can separate them from your problems.
Make Yourself Feel Better
You can easily fall into the habit of criticizing your spouse mentally even when you act like everything is fine. Negative ideas affect your behavior and feelings. Once you start seeing each other as equals, you'll have a better chance of making changes.
Get Unbiased Opinions
What if you and your partner can't agree or aren't sure what to do next? You don't need to ask your friends or family for advice as they will be prejudiced. You and your partner might need some help navigating this, so involve a neutral third person.
Try To Be Persistent
You won't get rid of a problem quickly if it's big enough to make you think about divorce. Changing negative communication habits or patterns takes time, even when trying hard. Find a long-term solution, not a quick fix. It may appear to go on forever. But you guys made a pact to be together forever, right?
It all comes down to trying and never giving up. Living a prosperous life with your partner requires a bond that transcends the ego. Couples should never forget that life is a continuous process. The journey toward a happy life can just be a step away.
You can consult a marriage counselor or read a self-help book when nothing seems to work. Arturo James Daly's 7 Secrets to What Makes Love Last may be useful in saving a troubled marriage and acting as the divine intervention you need when you're going through trouble.
Arturo offers secrets to save your marriage on amazon in paperback and Kindle editions. Go get your copy now!