Do you ever feel like you will never fall in love again? An uneasy feeling that you don’t have the energy or the heart to go through that whole process again? The efforts you lay down despite the falsity, the compromises, and the deceitfulness makes an individual noxious and abruptly baneful.
Love is considered to be an essential emotion. According to some researchers, it is a primary expression of emotion, like showing anger or happiness. It aids in integrating relationships. On the contrary, love doesn’t always lead to the happy, lovey-dovey endings portrayed in the movies. There is much more to it. The ability to give and receive love is not easy, and it can also lead to extremely traumatic events.
Once in their lives, everyone experiences some trauma, whether physical, sexual, or psychological, which most likely affects their relationships. Trauma leads to an inability to gain trust as the victim is aware of people’s cruelty. It makes one skeptical of the idea of opening themselves to their partners. Even if a person gets lucky and finds someone genuine, they still tend to push them away. Being in a relationship is hard as you cannot express your affection towards your partner. You become less expressive. It feels like a waste of time because the fear of enduring the pain and disappointment of the past comes to haunt you.
The worst part of trauma is that it prevents you from loving yourself. You start questioning each and every move you make or everything you say. Your self-esteem begins to hurt, and feelings of insecurity surround you. You begin to identify flaws within you that are not there.
As a wise man once said, “Wherever you go, no matter what the weather is, just try to bring your own sunshine.” This quote has inspired me to move forward in life, and this blog will help to let you accept love after experiencing trauma. Additionally, it will unravel some surprising secrets to what makes love last and state the importance of self-love, especially for trauma survivors.
Impacts of Trauma on Relationships
Falling victim to depression
Sleeping for excessive hours or not sleeping at all (Insomnia)
Being distant and developing withdrawal
Exposed to the risk of self-harm
Feelings of excessive jealousy, betrayal, and insecurities
Feeling unsafe around the partner
Indulging in substance abuse
Difficulty in accepting love and trusting partner
Increase in disagreements and fights between partners.
As mentioned above, the impacts of traumatic relationships can be long-lasting and harmful, yet, there are various ways to ameliorate them.
When it comes to receiving love after a traumatic past, acceptance is an essential key to moving forward. Accepting what happened before is a crucial step to moving on. It helps you realize that the worst part is over, and it is time to give yourself another chance.
After acceptance comes care. This includes self-care and active management of emotions between yourself and your partner. Once an individual starts appreciating and loving themselves, a relationship gets less and less demanding, and things begin to happen seamlessly.
SUPPORT AND COMMUNICATION
Most victims of trauma are afraid to ask for help and support. Do ask for help. Book a session with a therapist or a counselor. Don’t be afraid. A quality support system will help you regain hope, allowing you to trust people again. Talk about what you are feeling. Communicate with your partner about what you are going through because communication is what most relationships lack. It is the main ground for break-ups. Quality communication is vital for successful, long-lasting relationships.
NEVER LOSE HOPE
Going through a traumatic relationship does make you feel useless. It makes you lose hope. But it doesn’t mean you should give up because good-hearted people exist. Trust the process and be patient. You never know who you might click and end up with, happily. Hope makes a person feel calm.
Committing to a person is not easy, but it is necessary for a relationship to work. When you commit to a person, it gives you a sense of security and satisfaction. Knowing that there is someone with you in times of grief and celebration is very reassuring. Someone you can rely on. Lasting relationships focus on creating a strong bond and commitment.
ACCLAIM YOUR VICTORIES
Give yourself some recognition. Celebrate your victories and accomplishments because you deserve them. Never rely on others for the sake of your happiness. Enjoy your own company because you are worth it.
KEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW
Life is unpredictable, and setting low expectations can lead to happiness and prosperity. Oprah Winfrey stated, “If you look at what you have in life, you will always have more. But if you look at what you don’t have in life, you will never have enough, no matter what.” The less you expect from your partner, the better your relationship will move forward. Expecting fewer expectations reduces the chances of disagreements and arguments.
BUILD UP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
A sense of self-worth impacts how you think of yourself and plays an important role in giving and receiving the amount of love in your relationships. It affects how a person treats themselves and others. It is often difficult for traumatized victims to boost their self-esteem, for which a few simple ways are mentioned below.Be kind to yourself.
Ø Start to say “No” if you feel uncomfortable. It is your choice and you have a right to make a decision for yourself.
Ø Be assertive.
Ø Build positive relationships with others.
Ø Covert your negative thoughts into positive ones.
Ø Allow yourself to inhale positivity and exhale stress, anxiety, and doubts.
Any sort of trauma is distressing, making an individual feel helpless. Despite this situation, it doesn’t mean it can’t be dealt with. Yes, it will require time, energy, acceptance, practice, and consistency. But it is possible to get past it and return to normal, especially when dealing with relationships.
In conclusion, having a long-lasting relationship is what most humans wish for, although one unpleasant relationship can greatly impact their emotional and physical well-being. It can traumatize a person completely, leading to an impairment in daily functioning. It leads to depression and self-doubt, making it difficult to move forward. But the techniques mentioned above will help the reader understand trauma and how it affects a person entirely. It will help them understand their partner from a different perspective leading to a successful, long-lasting relationship.
Wish to unravel some more effective tips to make your relationship last? Get your hands on Arturo James’s 7 Secrets to What Makes Love Last, a perfect guide for couples to develop a thriving relationship.